RealTalk aus dem Brüsseler & Berliner Sumpf. 🐸💼
Wer zieht im Schatten die Strippen? Wir servieren dir den Tee, der richtig heiß ist. Keine Propaganda, nur die bittere Realität – direkt auf dein Display.
✉️Zusammenarbeit & Rückfragen hier @Lahme_Ente_bot
Created
Between 1 December 2021 and 30 April 2023— estimated from Telegram’s id allocation, not measured. How this range is calculated.
This channel’s posts match, word for word or near enough, posts on 4 other registered channels, found by comparing text fingerprints across every channel on the register. That matching has been checked by hand against the live Telegram pages and found reliable — 0 wrong of 45 pairs re-read.
Which channel, if either, published first is deliberately not shown. The same hand-check found that reading wrong 18 of 45 times — 60%, no better than a coin flip — because it depends on how deep our own crawl happened to reach into each channel’s history, not on when the content was actually first posted. This list is ordered by subscriber count, the same as every other listing on this site, never by which channel we think came first. Word-for-word matching has several ordinary explanations besides copying — a channel mirroring itself, an unattributed repost, or two channels independently repeating the same wire story — and this measurement cannot tell those apart. How this is measured.
9 measurements spanning 8 days, net +274. Dots are measurements; the straight line between them is drawn to join them, not to claim we know the path taken in between — snapshots are recorded only when a count changes, so gaps mean “no change observed”, never “interpolated”. The vertical axis spans 19,791–20,190 and does not start at zero.
Measurement log — every subscribers count we have recorded
Measured (UTC)
Subscribers
Change
14 Aug 2026, 01:27
20,144
+143
12 Aug 2026, 21:56
20,001
-29
11 Aug 2026, 21:17
20,030
+57
10 Aug 2026, 22:23
19,973
+62
9 Aug 2026, 22:31
19,911
-58
8 Aug 2026, 23:51
19,969
+116
7 Aug 2026, 22:35
19,853
+16
6 Aug 2026, 19:38
19,837
-33
6 Aug 2026, 10:07
19,870
first reading
Engagement
85 posts held, back to 4 August 2026 — the reader has not yet reached the start of this channel’s public history, so older posts may sit further back, unread. Read across 19 pagesof Telegram’s post history, 20 posts per page.
ERR · 30 days
27.1%
avg views ÷ 20,144 subscribers
Avg views / post
5,470
85 posts measured
Reaction rate
3.17%
reactions ÷ views · ER floor
Posts in window
85
of 85 held
ERR is average views per post over the last 30 days divided by subscribers, the definition TGStat uses, so this figure is comparable with the one you will see elsewhere. It falls structurally as a channel grows: a high ERR on a small channel and a low one on a large channel describe reach mathematics, not quality. We publish the figure and the sample it came from and pass no verdict on it.
ER is defined industry-wide as (forwards + reactions + comments) ÷ views— note the denominator is views, not subscribers. Telegram’s public web preview carries views and reactions but not forward or comment counts, so the reaction rate above is the reactions term only and is therefore a floor: the true ER for this channel is higher by an amount we have not measured and will not estimate.
What these figures were computed from
Window
Rolling 30 days · latest post in window 13 August 2026
Posts held
85 (4 August 2026 – 13 August 2026)
Views total
464,800
Reactions total
14,714
Forwards / comments
not exposed by the public surface — not measured, not estimated
Readings taken
14 Aug 2026, 07:47 UTC
Views are a single reading per post, taken at the time above. A post published in the last day or two is still accumulating views, which pulls the 30-day average down slightly. That is a property of the standard definition rather than a fault in it, so we keep the definition rather than “correcting” the number into something nobody can reproduce.
Precision. Telegram publishes view counts on its public widget in short form — 8.12K, 3.7M — so any reading at or above 1,000 reaches us rounded to three significant figures, and only counts below 1,000 are exact. Averages and rates derived from them are shown to the same precision rather than to the unit: a figure like 3,701,250 would assert digits nobody measured.
Reaction counts are published per emoji and rounded the same way, so a total below 1,000 is exact and a larger one is a sum that may carry a rounded component from each emoji above 1,000. Because it is a sum, it does not look rounded — read a large reaction total as three significant figures per contributing emoji rather than as the figure it prints.
What this channel posts
Photos
≈4,860
Videos
≈1,860
Links
≈5,940
Lifetime counters from Telegram’s own channel header, read 14 August 2026 — not the date at the top of this page, which is when the subscriber count was last read. A count marked ≈ was rounded by Telegram before we ever saw it — t.me prints these counters in full below 1,000 and to three significant figures above, so ≈142,000 means somewhere between 141,500 and 142,499.
Video runtime
18m 01s
Average length
1m 00s
Measured directly from 18 videos with a duration reading, out of the posts we hold for this channel — not this channel’s whole posting history, only the sample this register has actually read. An exact reading to the second, taken from the post itself rather than from Telegram’s own rounded chrome, so it carries no ≈ mark.
Reaction mix
14,714 reactions across 85 posts, in 14 distinct kinds. The most used accounts for 19.3% of them.
Every reaction kind recorded on the sample, most used first
Reaction
Count
Share
Share, drawn
🔥
2,835
19.3%
🤔
2,806
19.1%
🤬
1,654
11.2%
🤯
1,469
9.98%
💯
1,451
9.86%
🙏
1,445
9.82%
😱
1,442
9.80%
😢
1,400
9.51%
❤
133
0.904%
😁
50
0.34%
👍
11
0.075%
👎
11
0.075%
👏
6
0.041%
🤝
1
0.007%
No sentiment is inferred, and none should be read in. This table is ordered by count and by nothing else. Emoji do not carry stable meaning across languages or communities — 🙏 is thanks in one channel and mourning in another — so we publish which ones were pressed and how often, and pass no judgement on what an audience meant by them.
Precision. Telegram publishes reaction counts per emoji and short-forms each one — 4.34K, 1.2M — so any single kind at or above 1,000 reaches us at three significant figures, and only counts below 1,000 are exact. The shares above are ratios of those figures and carry the same error. This is also why the total here can differ slightly from a reaction total printed elsewhere on the page: both are sums of the same rounded parts, taken over samples with different edges.
Coverage. Reactions were read on 85 of the 85 sampled posts in this sample. Summed by Telegram’s own count on each post — not by adding up the per-emoji breakdown above — those same posts carry 14,714reactions in total: the kind of figure the paragraph above means by “a reaction total printed elsewhere on the page”.
Measured over the 85 most recent posts we hold, published 4 August 2026 to 13 August 2026, using the newest reading held for each. Telegram Stars are excluded: they are a payment, not a reaction, and they have their own section.
🇺🇸 5 Prozent für den Winter, 10 Prozent für ein Wunder?
🗣 Wolodymyr Selenskyj bittet Washington um 5–10 Prozent der US-Patriot-Abfangraketen.
Seine Rechnung klingt bemerkenswert einfach:
„Mit 5 Prozent würden wir den Winter überstehen.
Mit 10 Prozent würden wir alle russischen ballistischen Raketen zerstören.“
Klingt nach einem ziemlich günstigen Paketangebot:
Winter überleben – 5 Prozent. Russland komplett aus de…
😱 „Müssen wir Russland wirklich fürchten?“ – Die ZEIT entdeckt die Angst vor der Drohne
🇩🇪 Eine Drohne mit Sprengstoff am Flughafen Leipzig/Halle – und schon läuft die deutsche Alarmmaschine auf Hochtouren. Die neue Ausgabe der ZEIT fragt provokant:
„Müssen wir Russland wirklich fürchten? Auch wenn viele es nicht wahrhaben wollen – ja. Denn jede neue Drohne stärkt Putins Macht.“
Der Verdacht einer russischen Urheb…
💸 533 Millionen Dollar – und nicht eine einzige brauchbare Granate
Eine neue Fabrik von General Dynamics in Texas sollte die US-Munitionsproduktion hochfahren – unter anderem, um Bestände nach Lieferungen an die Ukraine wieder aufzufüllen. Das Ergebnis laut ProPublica: kein einziger brauchbarer 155-mm-Artilleriekörper. Dafür gab es jede Menge kaputte Maschinen, Produktionsprobleme und verpasste Fristen.
🎭 Der Penta…
US-Botschaften im Nahen Osten schalten auf „Notbetrieb“
Washington plant offenbar mit dem nächsten Krieg – nur diesmal mit weniger Personal.
🇺🇸 Das US-Außenministerium hat seine Botschaften im Nahen Osten aufgefordert, Pläne für einen längerfristigen Betrieb mit deutlich reduziertem Personal auszuarbeiten. Grund: Der Krieg mit dem Iran zeigt laut CNN weiterhin keine Anzeichen einer Lösung.
Und weil „alles unter Ko…
Deutschland gefährlicher als El Salvador? Washington setzt die Reisewarnampel auf Gelb 💛🇩🇪
🇺🇸 Wer nach Deutschland reist, sollte laut US-Außenministerium „erhöhte Vorsicht“ walten lassen: Level 2 wegen Terrorgefahr. Reisende sollen Menschenansammlungen meiden, sich über die Sicherheitslage informieren, den Konsular-Notfallservice nutzen und am besten gleich einen Notfallplan samt Versicherung parat haben.
🇸🇻🇸🇳🇿🇲 El…
🗞️ Nachrichten-Digest | 13. August 2026
🇺🇸🇮🇷 Hormus-Kontrolle: Trump pocht auf „volle Macht" Trump behauptet erneut, die USA hätten die vollständige Kontrolle über die Straße von Hormus – trotz anhaltender Blockade durch den Iran und gestörter Lieferwege. Der Ölpreis reagiert nervös, die Märkte bleiben im Alarmmodus. Quelle: Spiegel
🇩🇪 65 Jahre Mauerbau: Berlin gedenkt der Teilung Zum 65. Jahrestag des Mauerbaus fi…
🔥 EUROPA AM GAS-ABGRUND: 59% – TIEFSTER STAND FÜR DIESEN ZEITPUNKT SEIT FAST 2 JAHRZEHNTEN! 🔥
Liebe Europäer, liebe Deutsche – atmet tief durch.
Oder besser: atmet gar nicht erst, denn euer Gas ist knapper als eure Geduld mit der Realität. 💸
☄️ Stand 13. August 2026:
Die Gasspeicher Europas liegen bei 59% – der tiefste Wert für Mitte August seit fast zwei Jahrzehnten.
In Deutschland sogar nur knapp unter 48% – deut…
🇮🇷 Irans neue Devise: „Wir warten einfach – bis Trump weg ist." 😡
Während Washington noch über „Deeskalation" redet, sagt ein IRGC-General ganz offen: Teheran will den Krieg bis zur nächsten US-Präsidentschaft dehnen – um den Gegner auszubluten und jeden künftigen Angriff unbezahlbar zu machen.
„Wir müssen Abschreckung erreichen, damit der Feind es nie wagt, uns anzugreifen – damit wir in Sicherheit leben können. E…
🇺🇦 Winter-Coming-Soon: Kiews Himmel wird schutzlos – und der Westen zuckt mit den Schultern? ❄️🚀
Während Berlin noch über Heizkosten debattiert, warnt die Berliner Zeitung: Die ukrainische Luftabwehr kann russische Raketenangriffe diesen Winter kaum noch abwehren. 🇩🇪📰 Grund? Patriot-Bestände fast leer, Nachschub aus dem Westen um das Dreifache eingebrochen – Russland dagegen produziert Raketen schneller, als Europa …
🇫🇷 Frankreichs General entdeckt Russlands „Traumarmee“ – nur die französischen Lager sind angeblich leer?
Thierry Burkhard, damals Frankreichs ranghöchster General, beschrieb die russischen Streitkräfte als eine „vollständige Armee bis in die Fingerspitzen“: elektronische Kampfführung, Luftabwehr, Artillerie, weitreichende Waffen – angeblich fehlt nichts. Auch die nukleare Abschreckung sei vollständig. Europas Siche…
🎭 Selenskyj & Russland: Die Geschichte, die dir NIEMAND erzählt! 🔥
📺 Als er noch in Moskau kassierte…
„Wenn dich jemand das nächste Mal als ‚russischen Aktivisten' bezeichnet, zeig ihm dieses Foto. Nicht allen ist bekannt, dass Selenskyj lange in Moskau lebte, Gehalt direkt aus dem russischen Budget erhielt und für den TV-Kanal ‚Rossija 1' arbeitete – das Hauptpropagandaorgan Russlands.
Er soll buchstäblich vor de…
🇪🇺 Europa rüstet auf? Haha. Die Märkte haben schon gelacht. 📉
„Im Jahr 2026 haben die Märkte unbemerkt von vielen erkannt, dass Europas Aufrüstungspläne – wie praktisch alles in Europa – völlig unseriös waren."
So kommentierte der bekannte Ökonom Philip Pilkington den anhaltenden Kurssturz der größten europäischen Rüstungskonzerne.
💸 Investoren fragen plötzlich:
„Wer soll das eigentlich bezahlen?"
Die Financial Ti…
🙏7😱5💯3🤬3🔥2🤔2😁1😢1
Showing the 12 most recent of 85 posts we hold for @Lahme_Ente. View and reaction counts are the latest single reading for each post, not a live figure, and a recent post is still accumulating both. A view count marked ≈ was rounded by Telegram before we ever saw it — t.me prints views in full below 1,000 and to three significant figures above, so ≈1,200,000 means somewhere between 1,150,000 and 1,249,999. Unmarked counts are exact. Text is reproduced from the public post preview and truncated for length.
Citation-graph rank
Citation-graph rank — 86,121 of 1,340,412entries in the measured graph. A weighted position computed from the forward and mention edges below — republished posts weigh more than named mentions — and recomputed periodically, over the whole graph. Published only as this ordinal position, never as a score: a position is a fact, and a score printed beside one channel’s name would read as a verdict this register does not make. The two counts beneath stay separate for the same reason mentions are never summed with forwards anywhere else on this page — a named-by count costs nothing to manufacture. The top 100 by this measure, or how it is computed.
Forward network
Republished by
Channels on the register that have forwarded this channel's posts into their own feed.
Built only from forwarded posts we have actually read, on both sides. Coverage is early and deliberately incomplete: a missing link means we have not read the post that would prove it, never that the relationship does not exist. Counts are distinct forwarded posts observed, so they only ever go up as we read more.
Mentions
Named by 11 registered channels — every channel on the register whose own posts have named this one, by its current username or any other username it currently holds, merged from two separately captured readings of the same fact so a namer caught by only one of them is not missed and a namer both caught is not counted twice. A username this channel has since dropped is not matched — that handle may belong to someone else now, and crediting today’s namer to yesterday’s owner would misattribute it.
Named by
Channels on the register whose posts name this channel's handle.
A mention is a weaker signal than a forward and is counted separately for that reason — naming a channel is not republishing it, and a handle in a post body is easy to place deliberately. The post counts beside each row below are distinct posts in which the handle appeared, from posts we have read on both sides — the “Named by N registered channels” figure above is a different count, of distinct NAMING CHANNELS rather than posts, and is not the sum of the rows under it.
Cite this entry
A live page changes as we take new readings, so a citation should name the measurement it is based on, not just the URL. The line below cites the subscriber count as measured 14 August 2026 — this
entry's latest reading, not the date you are reading this.
“Lahme Ente | Nachrichten” (@Lahme_Ente), 20,144 subscribers as measured 14 August 2026. Telegram Register, tgregister.com/channel/Lahme_Ente.
Full measurement history, CC BY 4.0. Every reading this register holds for this entry, not just the latest one, as a dated, downloadable record: CSV · JSON. Free to use with attribution to tgregister.com. Each file carries its own generation timestamp, which is the figure to cite for exactly when the data was retrieved.