2 Aug 2026, 20:40 UTC12 views2 reactionsread 12 August 2026 > incoming.call: accepted
it's easier to find words
when they're meant for someone else
> entry: .helpline
a phone rings through static noise
i pick it up, and hear friend's voice
it's shaky, scared and it feels lost,
afraid of the decisions from a past
i try to calm them down, try to comfort
give them hope so they won't let go
of their dreams, of the desire to be,
knowing how hard it is to not feel free
anoth…
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18 Jul 2026, 16:41 UTC25 views2 reactionsread 12 August 2026 > navigation.request: destination unavailable
there's no one left in the passenger seat
to distract me
> entry: drive
in my dreams, i'd drive you to the beach
it was so close i could almost reach it
but it was only a false hope, a failed ritual,
a work of art, turned out to be a fiction
in my dreams, we'd drive late city nights
talking about what doesn't matter, out of sight
no one to pretend for, just us tonig…
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10 Jul 2026, 20:21 UTC30 views1 reactionsread 12 August 2026 //author.note:
впервые пробовал себя в написании стиха прозой, стих был экспериментальным, не судите строго.
никогда не понимал как люди пишут стихи прозой и как это считается красивым.. после написания всё равно не понял.
#notes
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10 Jul 2026, 20:19 UTC27 views1 reactionsread 12 August 2026 > draft.status: unnamed
i didn't know what to call it
maybe that's enough
> entry: untitled
stop it
i break when i hear their happy voices
stop it
just pull the trigger before i collapse
i'm so jealous
you all have hopes and dreams
i'm so tired
you never tried to understand
sometimes it stings like a knife
that was put in me and twisted
and i can feel the blood dripping
as it flows down my imperfections
it…
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24 Jun 2026, 12:07 UTC38 views2 reactionsread 12 August 2026 > location.check: failed
i tried calling this place "home"
it returned error
> entry: i hate it here
i truly hate it here
wish i could disappear
completely
i truly hate it here
stuck in days on repeat
thoughts tend to be the same
i bend, i break again
i truly hate it here
my mind filled with fears
leading voice in my head
saying i'm better off dead
i truly hate it here
the house of dreams
i'm left to rot bene…
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28 May 2026, 13:54 UTC52 views2 reactionsread 12 August 2026 > emotional.echo detected
i thought it was over
it wasn't
> entry: recurring
you're still recurring in my thoughts
fantasies that were meant to rot
but i won't hold on to them no more
you're a peaceful, quiet storm
and i know, i should be moving on
but i don't know how long i'll be holding on
me and myself — we can't get along
i search the perfect me in anyone
another feeling, never love —
just as if i was sim…
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14 May 2026, 02:26 UTC53 views2 reactionsread 12 August 2026 > draft.status: reopened
maybe i spent too long
trying to become someone easier to love
> entry: enough
i wish i could make you smile
just like you do to others
i wish we could sit in silence
and know that nothing else matters
i wish i could be better —
better shaped, jack of all trades
i wish that i would've mattered
now all that's left are cards i can't play
i wish i could be smarter —
know what i am to othe…
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27 Mar 2026, 12:27 UTC75 views1 reactionsread 12 August 2026 > system.consume / ascend
> search.sequence: complete
> archive.status: fully assembled
> initiating access...
⬤ log_1 — consume / ascend.(part_1)
⬤ log_2 — consume / ascend.(part_2)
system.note: process recorded without resolution
output: available for interpretation
#poetry.ascnd #night.ascnd #void.ascnd
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10 Mar 2026, 12:48 UTC79 views3 reactionsread 12 August 2026 //author.note:
извините что так задерживаю выход 3-й сборки, я немного переписал большинство стихов, но здесь на канале не менял, так что когда она выйдет — советую прочитать полностью.
а, ну и ещё немного лень было.
#notes.ascnd
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1 Feb 2026, 23:20 UTC110 views3 reactionsread 12 August 2026 > system.consume / ascend
> entry_id: 019_curse
> affect.channel: leaking
> loading...
bloodshed love
i told you that a million times —
i can't tell you what's inside
i live to suffocate out of sight
so i tell you it's alright
my love is a dying disease
and i'd give it out for free,
but will you payback me
or leave me alone in this dream?
a dream of you and i
but you're n…
custom 51971955237941575051custom 52151862398539647611custom 53414292229026067361
23 Jan 2026, 15:27 UTC92 views3 reactionsread 12 August 2026 > system.consume / ascend
> entry_id: 025_design
> process.context: external-authority
> integrity.check: failed
> loading...
architect.exe
i am not at fault for your flawed design
i'll give what i have, i'll take what is mine
script misaligned, no wonder it failed —
the missing piece was never detailed
you never stood where i was placed,
yet made the calls i had to face
did you ever stop to ask if it’s wrong?
i…
custom 51971955237941575051custom 52151862398539647611custom 53414292229026067361
13 Jan 2026, 13:26 UTC88 views4 reactionsread 12 August 2026 > system.consume / ascend
> entry_id: 024_rot
> process.state: iterative
> mood.scan: perfection-loop detected
> loading...
soul.mind.body
i search perfection in my life,
but you're only perfect when you die
call of the void still haunts sometimes
i can't escape what rots inside
the body of mine
i hide the scars, i count the flaws,
this flesh obeys the mind’s sharp claws
a perfect cage, a glass-pain frame —
if i…
custom 51971955237941575052custom 52133330387751510991custom 52151862398539647611
Showing the 12 most recent of 20 posts we hold for @exxitlog. View and reaction counts are the latest single reading for each post, not a live figure, and a recent post is still accumulating both. A view count marked ≈ was rounded by Telegram before we ever saw it — t.me prints views in full below 1,000 and to three significant figures above, so ≈1,200,000 means somewhere between 1,150,000 and 1,249,999. Unmarked counts are exact. Text is reproduced from the public post preview and truncated for length.