و بله ریمووش کردم تا اینو بزارم اینجا
Signed Icarus

Channel
@IWriteAndThenIWantTokillMyself
On this record: Growth · Engagement · Reactions · Posts · Citations · Cite this entry
12subscribers
+0 since we began measuring on 14 August 2026
Risers and fallers across the register · movement among entries of Under 1,000.
| Telegram ID | -1003734664189 |
|---|---|
| Type | Channel |
| Username | @IWriteAndThenIWantTokillMyself |
| Created | Between 1 February 2026 and 6 June 2026— estimated from Telegram’s id allocation, not measured. How this range is calculated. |
| First recorded | 14 August 2026 |
| Last confirmed live | 15 August 2026 |
| Measurements held | 2 |
| On Telegram | t.me/IWriteAndThenIWantTokillMyself |
| Measured (UTC) | Subscribers | Change |
|---|---|---|
| 14 Aug 2026, 19:18 | 12 | no change |
| 14 Aug 2026, 19:06 | 12 | first reading |
20 posts held, back to 6 June 2026 — the reader has not yet reached the start of this channel’s public history, so older posts may sit further back, unread. Read across 1 pageof Telegram’s post history, 20 posts per page.
ERR is average views per post over the last 30 days divided by subscribers, the definition TGStat uses, so this figure is comparable with the one you will see elsewhere. It falls structurally as a channel grows: a high ERR on a small channel and a low one on a large channel describe reach mathematics, not quality. We publish the figure and the sample it came from and pass no verdict on it.
ER is defined industry-wide as (forwards + reactions + comments) ÷ views— note the denominator is views, not subscribers. Telegram’s public web preview carries views and reactions but not forward or comment counts, so the reaction rate above is the reactions term only and is therefore a floor: the true ER for this channel is higher by an amount we have not measured and will not estimate.
| Window | Rolling 30 days · latest post in window 21 July 2026 |
|---|---|
| Posts held | 20 (6 June 2026 – 21 July 2026) |
| Views total | 16 |
| Reactions total | — |
| Forwards / comments | not exposed by the public surface — not measured, not estimated |
| Readings taken | 14 Aug 2026, 19:18 UTC |
Views are a single reading per post, taken at the time above. A post published in the last day or two is still accumulating views, which pulls the 30-day average down slightly. That is a property of the standard definition rather than a fault in it, so we keep the definition rather than “correcting” the number into something nobody can reproduce.
Precision. Telegram publishes view counts on its public widget in short form — 8.12K, 3.7M — so any reading at or above 1,000 reaches us rounded to three significant figures, and only counts below 1,000 are exact. Averages and rates derived from them are shown to the same precision rather than to the unit: a figure like 3,701,250 would assert digits nobody measured.
Reaction counts are published per emoji and rounded the same way, so a total below 1,000 is exact and a larger one is a sum that may carry a rounded component from each emoji above 1,000. Because it is a sum, it does not look rounded — read a large reaction total as three significant figures per contributing emoji rather than as the figure it prints.
13 reactions across 4 posts, in 2 distinct kinds. The most used accounts for 76.9% of them.
| Reaction | Count | Share | Share, drawn |
|---|---|---|---|
| 🌚 | 10 | 76.9% | |
| 👀 | 3 | 23.1% |
No sentiment is inferred, and none should be read in. This table is ordered by count and by nothing else. Emoji do not carry stable meaning across languages or communities — 🙏 is thanks in one channel and mourning in another — so we publish which ones were pressed and how often, and pass no judgement on what an audience meant by them.
Precision. Telegram publishes reaction counts per emoji and short-forms each one — 4.34K, 1.2M — so any single kind at or above 1,000 reaches us at three significant figures, and only counts below 1,000 are exact. The shares above are ratios of those figures and carry the same error. This is also why the total here can differ slightly from a reaction total printed elsewhere on the page: both are sums of the same rounded parts, taken over samples with different edges.
Coverage. Reactions were read on 4 of the 20 sampled posts in this sample. Summed by Telegram’s own count on each post — not by adding up the per-emoji breakdown above — those same posts carry 13reactions in total: the kind of figure the paragraph above means by “a reaction total printed elsewhere on the page”.
Measured over the 20 most recent posts we hold, published 6 June 2026 to 21 July 2026, using the newest reading held for each. Telegram Stars are excluded: they are a payment, not a reaction, and they have their own section.
و بله ریمووش کردم تا اینو بزارم اینجا
Signed Icarus
امروز بر مبل خاکستری خانه نشسته بودم؛ مبلی که گویی رنگش را از هیاهوی ذهن من وام گرفته بود. سکوت اتاق، از آن سکوت هایی بود که بیش از هر فریادی گوش را میآزارد. برادرم تازه به خانه رسیده بود. رو به رویم نشست و چشم هایش را به آن مستطیل نورانی در دستش دوخت. من اما مدت ها بود که در جایی دیگر زندگی میکردم؛ در ازدحام افکاری که بی وقفه بر دیوار های ذهنم مشت میکوبیدند. با خودم کلنجار میرفتم؛ بگویم یا نگویم؟ کمک بخواه…
Signed Icarus
If she knocked on my door tonight, I don't know whether I would embrace her or ask why she buried me before leaving. Perhaps both. And every morning, before the world remembers to become unbearable again, I whisper the only truth that has refused to die. " But I can't let go of her. "
Signed Icarus
I interrogate myself like a criminal "Why don't you leave her and her memories behind?" Because the version of me that knew how has disappeared with her. People believe letting go is an act of strength, as though the soul were a hand capable of opening on command. They have never understood that some loves grow roots instead of memories. You can't pull them out without tearing away the earth that keeps you alive. I m…
Signed Icarus
She has left and I have to accept that. Yet every object in this room, in this mind and in this life still behaves as if she were expected back. A forgotten cup of tea that we never finished together, Even silence has memorized the shape of her breathing. Perhaps places grieve better than people do.
Signed Icarus
The chair across the room of my mind remains empty with such discipline that even memory begins to doubt itself. Dust settles where laughter should have lived. The mirror returns only my own face, pale and strangely unfamiliar, as though I have been borrowing it from another woman. Reason tells me she is gone; reason has always been an efficient liar. But I can't let go. It is an absurd sentence. Five ordinary word…
Signed Icarus
و میدانستم ترسناک ترین شکل تنهایی، تنها بودن نیست؛ بلکه پیدا کردن کسی است که تو را میفهمد و دانستن اینکه نمیتوانی نگهش داری.
👀3
Signed Icarus
سپس به آرامی روی زمین نشست؛ تکیه اش را به دیوار داد و سیگارش را خاموش کرد. سپیده از پشت پنجره های چرک گرفته بالا میآمد، نور کم رنگ صبح به درون مغازه خزید و بر چهره اش افتاد. برای نخستین بار متوجه شدم چقدر خسته به نظر میرسد، نه خستگی جسم، خستگی چیزی بسیار عمیق تر و قدیمی تر. کنارش نشستم و به او تکیه دادم هیچ کدام چیزی نگفتیم و در آن سکوت، ناگهان صدایی برخاست. تیک. بعد تیک دیگری. و سپس تیک تاکی منظم. هر دو هم…
🌚4
Signed Icarus
چند دقیقه ای در میان اشیای خاک خورده ی مغازه پرسه زد. نوک انگشتانش را آهسته بر سطح ساعت ها، قاب عکس ها و جعبه های چوبی میکشید؛ چنان با دقت و تامل که انگار نه با اشیا، بلکه با اجساد خاموش کسانی رو به رو شده بود که زمانی زیسته بودند. سرانجام مقابل آینه ای قدی و ترک خورده ایستاد. آینه از آن نمونه های کهنه ی روسی بود؛ با قاب چوب گردو ی منبت کاری شده و لکه هایی سیاه بر سطح نقره اش، چنان که تصویر آدم را تکه…
🌚2
Signed Icarus
در بار کوچکی کنار عتیقه فروشی کوچه ی تایمز نشسته بودم. حاضران آنجا، چنان بیگانه مینمودند که گویی حتی سیمایی انسانی نداشتند؛ سایه هایی بودند نشسته بر چهارپایه هایی فرسوده، با چهره هایی مغموم که زیر نور زرد و چراغ ها محو میشد. شات های ودکایم را در کنار بشقابی از سیب زمینی های آب پز سر میکشیدم. جالب آنکه اینجا ودکا همان منزلتی را داشت که آبجو در سرزمین ما؛ نوشیدنی ای روزمره، به سادگی آب. در همان هنگام، زنی …
🌚4
Signed Icarus
و من از تنها همنشین خویش در تمامی این سال ها کفری و کلافه شده ام. خشم عزیز، مرا در تنهایی خویش گاهی رها کن، که من دیگر تحمل روانی قبل را ندارم.
Signed Icarus
گاهی آدم سال ها در بیابان راه میرود و آن قدر به تشنگی عادت میکند که دیگر یادش میرود آب چه مزه ای دارد. بعد ناگهان کسی پیدا میشود؛ نه با وعده های بزرگ، نه با معجزه. فقط با چند کلمه، چند نگاه، چند لحظه ی کوتاه که آدم را به اشتباه می اندازد. فکر می کنی شاید این بار لازم نباشد همه چیز را تنهایی به دوش بکشی. شاید بالاخره جایی باشد که بتوانی خستگی ات را زمین بگذاری. و همین فکر کافی است. کافی است تا دیوار هایی که…
Signed Icarus
Showing the 12 most recent of 20 posts we hold for @IWriteAndThenIWantTokillMyself. View and reaction counts are the latest single reading for each post, not a live figure, and a recent post is still accumulating both. A view count marked ≈ was rounded by Telegram before we ever saw it — t.me prints views in full below 1,000 and to three significant figures above, so ≈1,200,000 means somewhere between 1,150,000 and 1,249,999. Unmarked counts are exact. Text is reproduced from the public post preview and truncated for length.
Republishes
Channels on the register whose posts this channel has forwarded.
Built only from forwarded posts we have actually read, on both sides. Coverage is early and deliberately incomplete: a missing link means we have not read the post that would prove it, never that the relationship does not exist. Counts are distinct forwarded posts observed, so they only ever go up as we read more.
A live page changes as we take new readings, so a citation should name the measurement it is based on, not just the URL. The line below cites the subscriber count as measured 14 August 2026 — this entry's latest reading, not the date you are reading this.
“نوشته ها” (@IWriteAndThenIWantTokillMyself), 12 subscribers as measured 14 August 2026. Telegram Register, tgregister.com/channel/IWriteAndThenIWantTokillMyself.
Full measurement history, CC BY 4.0. Every reading this register holds for this entry, not just the latest one, as a dated, downloadable record: CSV · JSON. Free to use with attribution to tgregister.com. Each file carries its own generation timestamp, which is the figure to cite for exactly when the data was retrieved.