Мужик догоняет маленькую девочку и говорит: – Девочка, а девочка, скажи, что светит, но не греет? А я тебе конфетку дам. – 8 лет строгого режима

Channel
Так Себе Анекдоты
@umoresc
On this record: Topic · Growth · Engagement · Reactions · Posts · Citations · Cite this entry
496subscribers
-21 since we began measuring on 7 August 2026
Risers and fallers across the register · movement among entries of Under 1,000.
Register entry
| Telegram ID | -1002099373830 |
|---|---|
| Type | Channel |
| Username | @umoresc |
| Created | Between 1 November 2023 and 31 May 2024 — estimated from Telegram’s id allocation, not measured. How this range is calculated. |
| First recorded | 8 August 2026 |
| Last confirmed live | 3 October 2026 |
| Measurements held | 8 |
| Confirmed unchanged | 1 time, most recently 3 October 2026 |
| On Telegram | t.me/umoresc |
Topic
Memes & entertainment — a classification, not a measurement. An on-box language model (Qwen3.6-35B-A3B-FP8, prompt version 1) read this channel’s own recent posts on 21 September 2026 and assigned it the closest of 31 fixed categories, at 100% confidence. This is a model’s judgement about what the channel is likely to be about, not a fact this register measured the way a subscriber count or a view count is measured — it can be revised on a later pass, and it carries no weight anywhere else on this page. How this classification works, and why it has no browse page of its own yet.
Growth
| Measured (UTC) | Subscribers | Change |
|---|---|---|
| 3 Oct 2026, 04:19 | 496 | -4 |
| 17 Sept 2026, 14:59 | 500 | -4 |
| 9 Sept 2026, 03:36 | 504 | -4 |
| 30 Aug 2026, 12:54 | 508 | -3 |
| 22 Aug 2026, 12:25 | 511 | -2 |
| 15 Aug 2026, 18:08 | 513 | -4 |
| 8 Aug 2026, 04:03 | 517 | no change |
| 7 Aug 2026, 17:40 | 517 | first reading |
Engagement
20 posts held, back to 22 June 2026 — the reader has not yet reached the start of this channel’s public history, so older posts may sit further back, unread. Read across 1 page of Telegram’s post history, 20 posts per page.
Nothing published in the last 30 days. ERR and ER are rolling 30-day measures, so there is nothing to compute — we hold 20 posts for this entry, the most recent from 5 August 2026. An engagement rate over an empty window would be a number about nothing.
Reaction mix
67 reactions across 16 posts, in 4 distinct kinds. The most used accounts for 53.7% of them.
| Reaction | Count | Share | Share, drawn |
|---|---|---|---|
| 👍 | 36 | 53.7% | |
| 😁 | 21 | 31.3% | |
| 🥱 | 7 | 10.4% | |
| 👎 | 3 | 4.48% |
No sentiment is inferred, and none should be read in. This table is ordered by count and by nothing else. Emoji do not carry stable meaning across languages or communities — 🙏 is thanks in one channel and mourning in another — so we publish which ones were pressed and how often, and pass no judgement on what an audience meant by them.
Precision. Telegram publishes reaction counts per emoji and short-forms each one — 4.34K, 1.2M — so any single kind at or above 1,000 reaches us at three significant figures, and only counts below 1,000 are exact. The shares above are ratios of those figures and carry the same error. This is also why the total here can differ slightly from a reaction total printed elsewhere on the page: both are sums of the same rounded parts, taken over samples with different edges.
Coverage. Reactions were read on 16 of the 20 sampled posts in this sample. Summed by Telegram’s own count on each post — not by adding up the per-emoji breakdown above — those same posts carry 67 reactions in total: the kind of figure the paragraph above means by “a reaction total printed elsewhere on the page”.
Measured over the 20 most recent posts we hold, published 22 June 2026 to 5 August 2026, using the newest reading held for each. Telegram Stars are excluded: they are a payment, not a reaction, and they have their own section.
Recent posts
Соревнование по плаванию среди инвалидов: кто без руки, кто без ноги, а на последней дорожке — одна голова. Дали старт. Все поплыли, а голова пошла ко дну. Вытащили её, откачали. Голова открыла глаза и говорит: — Я пять лет учился ушами грести, а мне эти суки перед самым стартом резиновую шапочку натянули.
😁6
Червячок подползает к маме и спрашивает: где батя? Она ему отвечает: батя с мужиками на рыбалку поехал
😁3
Сын, 3 года, впервые попал в баню с отцом: - Папа,какая у тебя писька большая! - Твои бы слова да маме в рот!
В семье охранников на ночь читают кроссворд
😁1
Русские археологи откопали яйцо динозавра, если они будут копать дальше, то вероятно смогут выкопать и всего динозавра целиком.
👍7
Дети играли во дворе в войнушку водяными пистолетами; но вдруг пошёл дождь и всех убил.
👍3
Чебурашка звонит Гене: — Гена, нам посылка пришла. В ней десять апельсинов. Восемь тебе и восемь мне. — Послушай, Чебурашка, восемь и восемь — это ж вроде не десять будет? — Ничего не знаю, свои восемь я уже съел.
В Древней Греции жил прекрасный юноша – Нарцисс. Он был настолько великолепен, что в него влюбилась самая красивая из нимф. Целыми днями девушка говорила о своих чувствах, но юноша ничего не слышал, любуясь собственным отражением. И тогда Нимфа обиделась и пожаловалась знакомому. Как-то раз Нарцисс стоял, наклонившись, над ручьем, и наслаждался своей красотой. И тут появился кентавр… С тех пор цветок нарцисса никогда…
😁4
Диалог отца и сына. — Пап, а что такое каверзный вопрос? — Ну сынок... Вот тебе нравятся сочные негры? — Нет, я не гей. — Получается ты не гей, ты расист.
👍2
Cидят три психа, наскребли на два литра пива, отправили одного покупать. Подходит псих к пивному ларьку, протягивает деньги: "Два литра пива пожалуйста". Продавец смотрит на него: "А куда вам наливать?". Тот снимает шляпу, протягивает продавцу. Ну продавец наливает в шляпу, но вмещается только полтора литра. Продавец: "А куда еще пол литра?" Псих подумал, шляпу перевернул: "Вот сюда в выемку". Ну тот ему налил. Довол…
😁2
Опять какие-то жалкие смертные замедляют любимые приложения? Устал от нескончаемых блокировок? Сервер KTLHVPN ломает любые ограничения! Что же скрывается в бездне? 🦑 Нет зависаний, нет ожиданий 🦑 Тест-драйв 3 дня - просто так, без кармы 🦑 10% с пополнений друга (вывод от 100₽) - закон "приведи-и-властвуй" 🦑 Поддержка НЕ пропадает в тумане, всегда на связи А также.. 🔥X2: удвоим твой бюджет на свободный интерн…
Showing the 12 most recent of 20 posts we hold for @umoresc. View and reaction counts are the latest single reading for each post, not a live figure, and a recent post is still accumulating both. A view count marked ≈ was rounded by Telegram before we ever saw it — t.me prints views in full below 1,000 and to three significant figures above, so ≈1,200,000 means somewhere between 1,150,000 and 1,249,999. Unmarked counts are exact. Text is reproduced from the public post preview and truncated for length.
Mentions
Named by 1 registered channel — every channel on the register whose own posts have named this one, by its current username or any other username it currently holds, merged from two separately captured readings of the same fact so a namer caught by only one of them is not missed and a namer both caught is not counted twice. A username this channel has since dropped is not matched — that handle may belong to someone else now, and crediting today’s namer to yesterday’s owner would misattribute it.
Named by
Channels on the register whose posts name this channel's handle.
A mention is a weaker signal than a forward and is counted separately for that reason — naming a channel is not republishing it, and a handle in a post body is easy to place deliberately. The post counts beside each row below are distinct posts in which the handle appeared, from posts we have read on both sides — the “Named by N registered channels” figure above is a different count, of distinct NAMING CHANNELS rather than posts, and is not the sum of the rows under it.
Cite this entry
A live page changes as we take new readings, so a citation should name the measurement it is based on, not just the URL. The line below cites the subscriber count as measured 3 October 2026 — this entry's latest reading, not the date you are reading this.
“Так Себе Анекдоты” (@umoresc), 496 subscribers as measured 3 October 2026. Telegram Register, tgregister.com/channel/umoresc.
Full measurement history, CC BY 4.0. Every reading this register holds for this entry, not just the latest one, as a dated, downloadable record: CSV · JSON. Free to use with attribution to tgregister.com. Each file carries its own generation timestamp, which is the figure to cite for exactly when the data was retrieved.