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Channel

Алло, скорая?!🚑

@smpvnutri

On this record: Topic · Growth · Engagement · What this channel posts · Reactions · Stars · Advertising · Posts · Cite this entry

103,535subscribers

-1,195 since we began measuring on 7 August 2026

Risers and fallers across the register · movement among entries of 100,000–316,228.

Register entry

Telegram ID-1002036507735
TypeChannel
Username@smpvnutri
Description18+ Выверну наизнанку всю работу на скорой помощи. Изменю ваше мнение о «покатушках» на желтых машинках. По рекламе @Alena_Protasovva Все истории выдуманы. Совпадения случайный.
CreatedBetween 1 November 2023 and 31 May 2024 — estimated from Telegram’s id allocation, not measured. How this range is calculated.
First recorded7 August 2026
Last confirmed live25 September 2026
Measurements held35
Confirmed unchanged1 time, most recently 25 September 2026
On Telegramt.me/smpvnutri

Topic

Other / unclassifiable — a classification, not a measurement. An on-box language model (Qwen3.6-35B-A3B-UD-Q6_K_XL, prompt version 1) read this channel’s own recent posts on 10 August 2026 and assigned it the closest of 31 fixed categories, at 70% confidence. This is a model’s judgement about what the channel is likely to be about, not a fact this register measured the way a subscriber count or a view count is measured — it can be revised on a later pass, and it carries no weight anywhere else on this page. How this classification works, and why it has no browse page of its own yet.

Growth

103,535104,730104,132.57 August 2026 — 104,730 subscribers7 August 2026 — 104,730 subscribers7 August 2026 — 104,728 subscribers9 August 2026 — 104,699 subscribers10 August 2026 — 104,662 subscribers11 August 2026 — 104,625 subscribers12 August 2026 — 104,609 subscribers13 August 2026 — 104,563 subscribers14 August 2026 — 104,529 subscribers16 August 2026 — 104,481 subscribers17 August 2026 — 104,436 subscribers18 August 2026 — 104,384 subscribers19 August 2026 — 104,338 subscribers20 August 2026 — 104,296 subscribers21 August 2026 — 104,278 subscribers22 August 2026 — 104,225 subscribers24 August 2026 — 104,176 subscribers25 August 2026 — 104,154 subscribers26 August 2026 — 104,130 subscribers27 August 2026 — 104,127 subscribers28 August 2026 — 104,136 subscribers29 August 2026 — 104,143 subscribers30 August 2026 — 104,115 subscribers31 August 2026 — 104,101 subscribers1 September 2026 — 104,104 subscribers2 September 2026 — 104,075 subscribers3 September 2026 — 104,080 subscribers5 September 2026 — 104,050 subscribers9 September 2026 — 103,966 subscribers11 September 2026 — 103,884 subscribers13 September 2026 — 103,842 subscribers15 September 2026 — 103,795 subscribers16 September 2026 — 103,767 subscribers19 September 2026 — 103,726 subscribers25 September 2026 — 103,535 subscribers7 August 202625 September 2026
35 measurements spanning 49 days, net -1,195. Dots are measurements; the straight line between them is drawn to join them, not to claim we know the path taken in between — snapshots are recorded only when a count changes, so gaps mean “no change observed”, never “interpolated”. The vertical axis spans 103,356–104,909 and does not start at zero.
Measurement log — every subscribers count we have recorded, most recent 20 of 35
Measured (UTC)SubscribersChange
25 Sept 2026, 22:20103,535-191
19 Sept 2026, 03:57103,726-41
16 Sept 2026, 20:18103,767-28
15 Sept 2026, 02:01103,795-47
13 Sept 2026, 10:37103,842-42
11 Sept 2026, 17:16103,884-82
9 Sept 2026, 04:35103,966-84
5 Sept 2026, 23:18104,050-30
3 Sept 2026, 20:56104,080+5
2 Sept 2026, 14:08104,075-29
1 Sept 2026, 10:35104,104+3
31 Aug 2026, 11:03104,101-14
30 Aug 2026, 09:37104,115-28
29 Aug 2026, 08:37104,143+7
28 Aug 2026, 07:33104,136+9
27 Aug 2026, 06:53104,127-3
26 Aug 2026, 05:47104,130-24
25 Aug 2026, 08:33104,154-22
24 Aug 2026, 10:46104,176-49
22 Aug 2026, 20:06104,225first reading

Engagement

145 posts held, back to 2 August 2026 — the reader has not yet reached the start of this channel’s public history, so older posts may sit further back, unread. Read across 115 pages of Telegram’s post history, 20 posts per page.

ERR · 30 days
25.9%
avg views ÷ 103,535 subscribers
Avg views / post
26,800
70 posts measured
Reaction rate
8.22%
reactions ÷ views · ER floor
Posts in window
70
of 145 held

ERR is average views per post over the last 30 days divided by subscribers, the definition TGStat uses, so this figure is comparable with the one you will see elsewhere. It falls structurally as a channel grows: a high ERR on a small channel and a low one on a large channel describe reach mathematics, not quality. We publish the figure and the sample it came from and pass no verdict on it.

ER is defined industry-wide as (forwards + reactions + comments) ÷ views — note the denominator is views, not subscribers. Telegram’s public web preview carries views and reactions but not forward or comment counts, so the reaction rate above is the reactions term only and is therefore a floor: the true ER for this channel is higher by an amount we have not measured and will not estimate.

What these figures were computed from
WindowRolling 30 days · latest post in window 30 September 2026
Posts held145 (2 August 2026 – 30 September 2026)
Views total1,876,100
Reactions total154,221
Forwards / commentsnot exposed by the public surface — not measured, not estimated
Readings taken1 Oct 2026, 23:34 UTC

Views are a single reading per post, taken at the time above. A post published in the last day or two is still accumulating views, which pulls the 30-day average down slightly. That is a property of the standard definition rather than a fault in it, so we keep the definition rather than “correcting” the number into something nobody can reproduce.

Precision. Telegram publishes view counts on its public widget in short form — 8.12K, 3.7M — so any reading at or above 1,000 reaches us rounded to three significant figures, and only counts below 1,000 are exact. Averages and rates derived from them are shown to the same precision rather than to the unit: a figure like 3,701,250 would assert digits nobody measured.

Reaction counts are published per emoji and rounded the same way, so a total below 1,000 is exact and a larger one is a sum that may carry a rounded component from each emoji above 1,000. Because it is a sum, it does not look rounded — read a large reaction total as three significant figures per contributing emoji rather than as the figure it prints.

What this channel posts

Photos
≈1,660
Videos
≈178
Links
≈80

Lifetime counters from Telegram’s own channel header, read 1 October 2026 — not the date at the top of this page, which is when the subscriber count was last read. A count marked ≈ was rounded by Telegram before we ever saw it — t.me prints these counters in full below 1,000 and to three significant figures above, so ≈142,000 means somewhere between 141,500 and 142,499.

Video runtime
1m 30s
Average length
18s

Measured directly from 5 videos with a duration reading, out of the posts we hold for this channel — not this channel’s whole posting history, only the sample this register has actually read. An exact reading to the second, taken from the post itself rather than from Telegram’s own rounded chrome, so it carries no ≈ mark.

Reaction mix

305,429 reactions across 145 posts, in 10 distinct kinds. The most used accounts for 32.8% of them.

Every reaction kind recorded on the sample, most used first
ReactionCountShareShare, drawn
🤣100,04632.8%
❤78,48725.7%
🤯33,16810.9%
custom 528066032763197791827,6019.04%
custom 528086222974959361617,4405.71%
custom 528274814559430223216,9255.54%
💔12,9424.24%
🗿12,8124.19%
custom 52829175219245866364,2311.39%
🕊1,7770.582%

Custom emoji. 4 of the rows above are Telegram custom emoji, which the public preview renders as an element carrying only a numeric id — no character, and no image we can reach. The id is printed as-is rather than substituted with a look-alike glyph, because a stand-in would be our invention showing where a measurement should be. The counts beside them are Telegram’s.

No sentiment is inferred, and none should be read in. This table is ordered by count and by nothing else. Emoji do not carry stable meaning across languages or communities — 🙏 is thanks in one channel and mourning in another — so we publish which ones were pressed and how often, and pass no judgement on what an audience meant by them.

Precision. Telegram publishes reaction counts per emoji and short-forms each one — 4.34K, 1.2M — so any single kind at or above 1,000 reaches us at three significant figures, and only counts below 1,000 are exact. The shares above are ratios of those figures and carry the same error. This is also why the total here can differ slightly from a reaction total printed elsewhere on the page: both are sums of the same rounded parts, taken over samples with different edges.

Coverage. Reactions were read on 145 of the 145 sampled posts in this sample. Summed by Telegram’s own count on each post — not by adding up the per-emoji breakdown above — those same posts carry 305,429 reactions in total: the kind of figure the paragraph above means by “a reaction total printed elsewhere on the page”.

Measured over the 145 most recent posts we hold, published 2 August 2026 to 30 September 2026, using the newest reading held for each. Telegram Stars are excluded: they are a payment, not a reaction, and they have their own section.

Telegram Stars

Stars received
322
across the posts below
Posts paid on
42
of 145 we hold a reading for · 29%
Most on one post
250
single highest reading

A paid reaction is a reader spending Telegram Stars — bought with money — on a post by @smpvnutri. Telegram publishes the count on the public post preview alongside ordinary reactions, and this register reads it there. It is the only figure on this site that measures money moving rather than attention.

Stars are not reactions, and the two are never added. They are rendered in the same strip on Telegram and counted in the same shape, but one is a tap and the other is a purchase. The reaction totals and the engagement rate elsewhere on this page exclude every figure in this section, and no rate here is computed against a reaction count.

This is not revenue, and we publish no currency figure. What a Star costs a reader and what it pays a channel are different numbers, Telegram takes a share we cannot observe, and the terms have changed. Converting a Star count into money would be an estimate dressed as a measurement, so the count is where we stop.

Counted over the 145 most recent posts we hold for this entry, published 2 August 2026 to 30 September 2026. Star counts above 1,000 reach us in Telegram’s short form and carry the same three-significant-figure rounding as everything else on this page.

Advertising

Ad load
1.38%
2 of 145 posts carry an ad marker
Regulatory tokens
2
posts carrying an erid · 2 distinct tokens
Median views · ads
25,300
over 2 measured posts
Median views · rest
28,500
over 143 measured posts

An ad marker, not a judgement about a post. A post is counted here because it carries one of two explicit markings: an erid token, which Russian law has required on paid placements since 2022 and which is issued against a specific advertising contract, or a #реклама / #ad hashtag in the body, which is the channel declaring it itself. The first is documentary; the second is a self-declaration and is weaker. No classifier reads the text and decides — nothing on this site guesses that a post is an advertisement.

This is a floor, and it can only ever be a floor. A channel that runs paid placements without marking them produces no marker for us to count, and an unmarked ad is indistinguishable from an ordinary post on the public surface. The ad load above therefore means “the share of posts that declared themselves”, never “the share of posts that were paid for”. A low figure is not evidence of a channel that runs few ads.

Both figures are medians, and no ratio between them is published. Each is a view reading that actually occurred on a post, picked by percentile_disc rather than averaged, so one viral post cannot move it and no interpolated value is invented between two readings. The sample on one side is under five posts, which is too thin to compare. The two figures are shown side by side with the count behind each, and deliberately not divided into a headline like “ads get x% fewer views” — an arithmetic that is easy to print and, at this sample size, means nothing.

Advertising tokens recorded on this entry
eridPostsFirst seenLast seen
2VSb5xgGPN2125 September 202625 September 2026
2VSb5xrbwS2121 August 202621 August 2026

A token repeated across several posts is one advertising contract placed more than once, which is what the identifier is for. The strings are reproduced exactly as they appeared in the post or in its click-through URL and are not validated against any registry — we record the marker a channel published, and whether it resolves to a real contract is a question for the register that issued it.

Measured over the 145 most recent posts we hold, published 2 August 2026 to 30 September 2026. Views are the latest single reading held for each post, and any reading at or above 1,000 is rounded by Telegram to three significant figures.

Recent posts

30 Sept 2026, 07:47 UTC≈15,200 views629 reactions1 Starread 1 October 2026
Photo

Так, рецепт синнабонов там просили, ловите Заебалась писать

❤561custom 528066032763197791837🤣29🤯2

30 Sept 2026, 06:07 UTC≈17,100 views1,939 reactionsread 1 October 2026

Дают нам М38, аллергия, сыпь по всему телу Приезжаем в полубичевник Съел какую-то рыбу из пивнухи, сам трезвый, адекватный. Я: «ложитесь, сделаем укол» П: «не, не сделаете, давай шприц, у меня колодец в паху, я сам залью» Я: «ВИЧ, Гепатит?» П: «Пф, естественно, в молодости 1 шприц на 10х делили, и прикинь, подстава, никогда аллергии на дозу не было, а тут бля, рыбку съел, и чуть не сдох» Уколол сам, даже шприц обра…

❤853custom 5282748145594302232577🤯342💔75custom 528066032763197791857🤣18custom 528291752192458663617

30 Sept 2026, 00:13 UTC≈18,500 views1,142 reactionsread 1 October 2026
Photo

Доброе утро в директе

🤯840custom 5282917521924586636149🤣67❤36custom 528086222974959361621custom 528274814559430223221custom 52806603276319779188

29 Sept 2026, 12:11 UTC≈20,200 views1,391 reactionsread 1 October 2026
Photo

Тесто переделывала. UPD: вкуснятина

❤1,250🤯74custom 528274814559430223240🕊17🤣7custom 52808622297495936163

29 Sept 2026, 07:48 UTC≈20,400 views1,305 reactionsread 1 October 2026

Спасибо всем. Варианты советов: 1. Сделайте, но будет жесткая херня 2. Делайте, отличное тесто.

🤣1,210❤89💔4🗿2

29 Sept 2026, 07:45 UTC≈20,300 views765 reactionsread 1 October 2026
Video

Вот такое оно, поднялось в 3 раза Вроде мягкое, эластичное Господи я в этом ничего не понимаю, спасити

🕊425❤236🗿53🤣47💔4

29 Sept 2026, 07:38 UTC≈20,000 views1,071 reactionsread 1 October 2026

У меня проблема. Я решила приготовить синнабоны, нашла рецепт. И, мне кажется, что у меня затупили весы, когда я добавляла муку, грамм на 100 добавила больше🥲 Потому что тесто не такое как будто, как на видео…плотнее Вот думаю, че с этим делать, мешать заново, или так сделать Поделилась проблемой с Яриком - он нихуя не понял

🤣938❤89🗿40custom 52806603276319779182custom 52808622297495936162

29 Sept 2026, 07:06 UTC≈20,600 views2,322 reactionsread 1 October 2026

Дают нам Ж60, «кровотечение из родинки» Новообразование у нее на уровне 7-8 ребер, кровищу остановили, вытерли. Я: «как ты получилось у вас? Задели?» П: «да она ж у меня что-то расти начала, под бюстгальтером мешается, я отковырять аккуратно хотела, а оттуда как полился фонтан» А там огромная черная родинка, с сосудами, неровная, еще и растет быстро, ну вот 99% злокачественная. Я: «вам обязательно к врачу с ней надо,…

🤯1,550🗿474custom 5280862229749593616148💔46custom 528066032763197791841❤38custom 528274814559430223225

29 Sept 2026, 06:55 UTC≈20,600 views923 reactionsread 1 October 2026
Photo

«Болят ноги» От коллеги

custom 5282917521924586636560🤯241custom 528066032763197791864custom 528274814559430223229❤16💔13

29 Sept 2026, 01:39 UTC≈21,600 views1,346 reactionsread 1 October 2026

У нас вчера во всем городе не было воды, и в двух соседних тоже, дали только сегодня утром Мы домой заказываем питьевую, всегда есть запас, голову сухим шампунем «помыла» особых трудностей не возникло Но большего срача в комментариях под новостями я никогда не видела «У меня гора грязной посуды, сколько можно это терпеть?» «Как помыться?» «Как помыть детей?» «Как сварить суп?» «В кофейнях даже кофе не делают» Эт пиз…

custom 5280862229749593616774🤯300🤣185❤42🗿32custom 52806603276319779187custom 52827481455943022326

27 Sept 2026, 07:03 UTC≈24,700 views883 reactionsread 1 October 2026

Извините не туда

🤣760❤72💔35🗿16

27 Sept 2026, 05:47 UTC≈26,000 views3,056 reactionsread 1 October 2026

Работала я как-то вторым номером, с врачом, которая на скорой около 50 лет катает… Там бы вовремя уйти, но увы. Свернула она кровину с утра всем, водителю, диспетчеру, меня не трогала, придраться не к чему было, и я свою работу делаю/знаю, и ее бумажки написать успеваю, лишь бы не сидеть 3 часа на вызове. Дают нам «перелом ноги» Ж52, возле подъезда. Хорошая женщина такая, прям вот работать приятно было. Там 3х лодыж…

❤2,020custom 5280660327631977918485custom 5282748145594302232166💔137🗿100custom 528086222974959361680🤣68

Showing the 12 most recent of 145 posts we hold for @smpvnutri. View and reaction counts are the latest single reading for each post, not a live figure, and a recent post is still accumulating both. A view count marked ≈ was rounded by Telegram before we ever saw it — t.me prints views in full below 1,000 and to three significant figures above, so ≈1,200,000 means somewhere between 1,150,000 and 1,249,999. Unmarked counts are exact. Text is reproduced from the public post preview and truncated for length.

Stars beside a post are paid reactions — Telegram Stars, bought with money and spent on that post. They are a different unit from reactions and are never added to them, here or anywhere else on this page.

Cite this entry

A live page changes as we take new readings, so a citation should name the measurement it is based on, not just the URL. The line below cites the subscriber count as measured 25 September 2026 — this entry's latest reading, not the date you are reading this.

“Алло, скорая?!🚑” (@smpvnutri), 103,535 subscribers as measured 25 September 2026. Telegram Register, tgregister.com/channel/smpvnutri.

Full measurement history, CC BY 4.0. Every reading this register holds for this entry, not just the latest one, as a dated, downloadable record: CSV · JSON. Free to use with attribution to tgregister.com. Each file carries its own generation timestamp, which is the figure to cite for exactly when the data was retrieved.