4->2->1->3 Алкаши в нашей системе точно без помощи не окажутся.
🤣523custom 5280660327631977918193🤯79❤27custom 528291752192458663626💔16custom 528086222974959361611

Channel
@smpvnutri
On this record: Topic · Growth · Engagement · What this channel posts · Reactions · Stars · Posts · Cite this entry
104,609subscribers
-121 since we began measuring on 7 August 2026
Risers and fallers across the register · movement among entries of 100,000–316,228.
| Telegram ID | -1002036507735 |
|---|---|
| Type | Channel |
| Username | @smpvnutri |
| Description | 18+ Выверну наизнанку всю работу на скорой помощи. Изменю ваше мнение о «покатушках» на желтых машинках. По рекламе @Alena_Protasovva Все истории выдуманы. Совпадения случайный. |
| Created | Between 1 November 2023 and 31 May 2024— estimated from Telegram’s id allocation, not measured. How this range is calculated. |
| First recorded | 7 August 2026 |
| Last confirmed live | 12 August 2026 |
| Measurements held | 7 |
| Confirmed unchanged | 1 time, most recently 12 August 2026 |
| On Telegram | t.me/smpvnutri |
Other / unclassifiable — a classification, not a measurement. An on-box language model (Qwen3.6-35B-A3B-UD-Q6_K_XL, prompt version 1) read this channel’s own recent posts on 10 August 2026 and assigned it the closest of 31 fixed categories, at 70% confidence. This is a model’s judgement about what the channel is likely to be about, not a fact this register measured the way a subscriber count or a view count is measured — it can be revised on a later pass, and it carries no weight anywhere else on this page. How this classification works, and why it has no browse page of its own yet.
| Measured (UTC) | Subscribers | Change |
|---|---|---|
| 12 Aug 2026, 03:42 | 104,609 | -16 |
| 11 Aug 2026, 06:24 | 104,625 | -37 |
| 10 Aug 2026, 03:20 | 104,662 | -37 |
| 9 Aug 2026, 00:54 | 104,699 | -29 |
| 7 Aug 2026, 23:48 | 104,728 | -2 |
| 7 Aug 2026, 13:00 | 104,730 | no change |
| 7 Aug 2026, 12:49 | 104,730 | first reading |
32 posts held, back to 2 August 2026 — the reader has not yet reached the start of this channel’s public history, so older posts may sit further back, unread. Read across 16 pagesof Telegram’s post history, 20 posts per page.
ERR is average views per post over the last 30 days divided by subscribers, the definition TGStat uses, so this figure is comparable with the one you will see elsewhere. It falls structurally as a channel grows: a high ERR on a small channel and a low one on a large channel describe reach mathematics, not quality. We publish the figure and the sample it came from and pass no verdict on it.
ER is defined industry-wide as (forwards + reactions + comments) ÷ views— note the denominator is views, not subscribers. Telegram’s public web preview carries views and reactions but not forward or comment counts, so the reaction rate above is the reactions term only and is therefore a floor: the true ER for this channel is higher by an amount we have not measured and will not estimate.
| Window | Rolling 30 days · latest post in window 12 August 2026 |
|---|---|
| Posts held | 32 (2 August 2026 – 12 August 2026) |
| Views total | 767,300 |
| Reactions total | 52,687 |
| Forwards / comments | not exposed by the public surface — not measured, not estimated |
| Readings taken | 12 Aug 2026, 18:31 UTC |
Views are a single reading per post, taken at the time above. A post published in the last day or two is still accumulating views, which pulls the 30-day average down slightly. That is a property of the standard definition rather than a fault in it, so we keep the definition rather than “correcting” the number into something nobody can reproduce.
Precision. Telegram publishes view counts on its public widget in short form — 8.12K, 3.7M — so any reading at or above 1,000 reaches us rounded to three significant figures, and only counts below 1,000 are exact. Averages and rates derived from them are shown to the same precision rather than to the unit: a figure like 3,701,250 would assert digits nobody measured.
Reaction counts are published per emoji and rounded the same way, so a total below 1,000 is exact and a larger one is a sum that may carry a rounded component from each emoji above 1,000. Because it is a sum, it does not look rounded — read a large reaction total as three significant figures per contributing emoji rather than as the figure it prints.
Lifetime counters from Telegram’s own channel header, read 12 August 2026 — not the date at the top of this page, which is when the subscriber count was last read. A count marked ≈ was rounded by Telegram before we ever saw it — t.me prints these counters in full below 1,000 and to three significant figures above, so ≈142,000 means somewhere between 141,500 and 142,499.
Measured directly from 2 videos with a duration reading, out of the posts we hold for this channel — not this channel’s whole posting history, only the sample this register has actually read. An exact reading to the second, taken from the post itself rather than from Telegram’s own rounded chrome, so it carries no ≈ mark.
52,687 reactions across 32 posts, in 10 distinct kinds. The most used accounts for 33.5% of them.
| Reaction | Count | Share | Share, drawn |
|---|---|---|---|
| 🤣 | 17,648 | 33.5% | |
| ❤ | 15,438 | 29.3% | |
| custom 5280862229749593616 | 4,571 | 8.68% | |
| custom 5280660327631977918 | 3,763 | 7.14% | |
| 🗿 | 3,364 | 6.38% | |
| 🤯 | 3,122 | 5.93% | |
| 💔 | 2,593 | 4.92% | |
| custom 5282748145594302232 | 1,632 | 3.10% | |
| custom 5282917521924586636 | 306 | 0.581% | |
| 🕊 | 250 | 0.475% |
Custom emoji. 4 of the rows above are Telegram custom emoji, which the public preview renders as an element carrying only a numeric id — no character, and no image we can reach. The id is printed as-is rather than substituted with a look-alike glyph, because a stand-in would be our invention showing where a measurement should be. The counts beside them areTelegram’s.
No sentiment is inferred, and none should be read in. This table is ordered by count and by nothing else. Emoji do not carry stable meaning across languages or communities — 🙏 is thanks in one channel and mourning in another — so we publish which ones were pressed and how often, and pass no judgement on what an audience meant by them.
Precision. Telegram publishes reaction counts per emoji and short-forms each one — 4.34K, 1.2M — so any single kind at or above 1,000 reaches us at three significant figures, and only counts below 1,000 are exact. The shares above are ratios of those figures and carry the same error. This is also why the total here can differ slightly from a reaction total printed elsewhere on the page: both are sums of the same rounded parts, taken over samples with different edges.
Coverage. Reactions were read on 32 of the 32 sampled posts in this sample. Summed by Telegram’s own count on each post — not by adding up the per-emoji breakdown above — those same posts carry 52,687reactions in total: the kind of figure the paragraph above means by “a reaction total printed elsewhere on the page”.
Measured over the 32 most recent posts we hold, published 2 August 2026 to 12 August 2026, using the newest reading held for each. Telegram Stars are excluded: they are a payment, not a reaction, and they have their own section.
A paid reaction is a reader spending Telegram Stars — bought with money — on a post by @smpvnutri. Telegram publishes the count on the public post preview alongside ordinary reactions, and this register reads it there. It is the only figure on this site that measures money moving rather than attention.
Stars are not reactions, and the two are never added. They are rendered in the same strip on Telegram and counted in the same shape, but one is a tap and the other is a purchase. The reaction totals and the engagement rate elsewhere on this page exclude every figure in this section, and no rate here is computed against a reaction count.
This is not revenue, and we publish no currency figure. What a Star costs a reader and what it pays a channel are different numbers, Telegram takes a share we cannot observe, and the terms have changed. Converting a Star count into money would be an estimate dressed as a measurement, so the count is where we stop.
Counted over the 32 most recent posts we hold for this entry, published 2 August 2026 to 12 August 2026. Star counts above 1,000 reach us in Telegram’s short form and carry the same three-significant-figure rounding as everything else on this page.
4->2->1->3 Алкаши в нашей системе точно без помощи не окажутся.
🤣523custom 5280660327631977918193🤯79❤27custom 528291752192458663626💔16custom 528086222974959361611
А скорую куда отправят в первую очередь? 1 - перелом руки, в сознании 2 - лежит на тротуаре, пьяный, не может встать 3 - сахар 10 4 - без сознания на лавочке, рядом бутылка водки И укажите очередность, в которой поедут на вызовы
❤227🤣119custom 528086222974959361619custom 52827481455943022325
Чат гпт, безусловно, хорош, но клинического мышления у него мало😂❤️
❤273🤣138
Тут ответ с пояснением 2->4->3->1 2 - вот-вот укатится в гипокому 4 - в состоянии шока, пульс выше САД, учитывая, что внешне цел, вероятно, кровит внутри, не разберемся, вытечет весь 3 - видим отеки ног, пациент хронический, низкая сатурация за счет воды в легких, и снизилась она явно не сегодня, организм уже умеет компенсировать 1 - ну тут очевидно
❤549custom 528291752192458663630custom 528066032763197791819
Погнали играть) Перед вами 4 пациента. 1 - температура 40’С(сказал об этом сам) 2 - сахар 2.1, в сознании 3 - сатурация 86%, видите выраженные отеки ног 4 - АД 90/50, пульс 110, без видимых повреждений Для каждого из пациентов данные показатели не являются нормой. Укажите последовательность, в которой вы будете оказывать помощь.
❤304custom 528066032763197791833💔15custom 52827481455943022322
Сидела на линии(диспетчером) Второй номер заболел, работать не с кем, пошла туда Звонит мадам, 66л «У меня давление, скорую надо» А она живет через дорогу от станции. Принимаю вызов, бригады заняты все, еще 2 экстры висят, за 5 минут к ней не приедут Проходит 5 минут, опять звонит П: «я скорую вызывала, где скорая?» Я: «пока все бригады заняты, к вам еще не выехали, ожидайте» П: «я в окно смотрю, у вас там куча маши…
custom 52808622297495936161,370custom 5280660327631977918410🤣253🤯118🗿102custom 528274814559430223268❤47
Повод к вызову СМП: «плохо» Ж68, на улице Вызывает прохожий Приезжаем на место, женщина сидит на лавочке, на окружающую обстановку не реагирует. И вижу рядом бабку, которая авоську свою развернула(там просто аптека мобильная), блистеры валяются. Коллега сразу идет к пациентке (давление, сатурация и т.д) Я к этой красавице: «давали ей что-то?» Б: «конечно!!!» Кто б сомневался… Я: «что конкретно?» Б: «ой, да я не помню…
custom 52806603276319779181,550🤯448❤215🗿142custom 528274814559430223246💔24custom 528291752192458663618
Ну кайф, за денёк)
❤1,140💔55🕊22custom 528086222974959361610custom 52827481455943022326
Тут есть люди, которые так ездят(желательно не больше 60 по трассе с ограничением 90, и еще в крайней левой)? Мож я чего-то не понимаю, что там под капотом-то бляха муха?😂 Ой госпаааадиии, у меня за 20 минут пути подгорела жопа
🤣1,040❤115custom 528086222974959361637🤯7🗿6custom 52829175219245866362
Сегодня принимали квартиру Ярика, слава всем богам она в вайт боксе, меньше денег😂 История: Сидим подписываемся, забегает баба: «а можно какого-то мужчину, у нас из трубы вода течет» Менеджер: «где течет?» Б: «у нас в квартире, мы проверяли, открыли воду, оно потекло» М: «ну вы перекрыли воду?» Б: «нет конечно, мы не знаем как, оно льется» Спасибо, что эта гениальная женщина не над нашей квартирой трубы проверяла
🤣1,320🤯271custom 528274814559430223282❤47custom 528291752192458663618custom 52806603276319779189
Закинула в корзину на озоне всякие бытовые штуки Тарелки, вилки/ложки, полотенца, два комплекта постельного и т.д., по мелочи Сижу думаю, потолок натянуть, или все купить🥲😂
❤767🤣410💔143custom 528291752192458663621custom 52827481455943022326custom 52808622297495936162
Мой день прошел так: А ваш?
❤1,260custom 5280660327631977918102custom 528086222974959361635🕊23custom 52829175219245866362
Showing the 12 most recent of 32 posts we hold for @smpvnutri. View and reaction counts are the latest single reading for each post, not a live figure, and a recent post is still accumulating both. A view count marked ≈ was rounded by Telegram before we ever saw it — t.me prints views in full below 1,000 and to three significant figures above, so ≈1,200,000 means somewhere between 1,150,000 and 1,249,999. Unmarked counts are exact. Text is reproduced from the public post preview and truncated for length.
Stars beside a post are paid reactions — Telegram Stars, bought with money and spent on that post. They are a different unit from reactions and are never added to them, here or anywhere else on this page.
A live page changes as we take new readings, so a citation should name the measurement it is based on, not just the URL. The line below cites the subscriber count as measured 12 August 2026 — this entry's latest reading, not the date you are reading this.
“Алло, скорая?!🚑” (@smpvnutri), 104,609 subscribers as measured 12 August 2026. Telegram Register, tgregister.com/channel/smpvnutri.
Full measurement history, CC BY 4.0. Every reading this register holds for this entry, not just the latest one, as a dated, downloadable record: CSV · JSON. Free to use with attribution to tgregister.com. Each file carries its own generation timestamp, which is the figure to cite for exactly when the data was retrieved.