3 Jan 2022, 08:02 UTC≈12,900 viewsread 7 August 2026
Science flies people to the moon. Religion flies people into buildings. @urekillingme
Channel
U r killing me
@urekillingme
On this record: Growth · Engagement · Posts · Citations · Cite this entry
3,130subscribers
-22 since we began measuring on 6 August 2026
Risers and fallers across the register · movement among entries of 1,000–3,162.
Register entry
| Telegram ID | -1001145631883 |
|---|---|
| Type | Channel |
| Username | @urekillingme |
| Created | 16 May 2017 — measured — cross-checked against a third-party dataset (TGDataset) |
| First recorded | 6 August 2026 |
| Last confirmed live | 26 August 2026 |
| Measurements held | 8 |
| Confirmed unchanged | 1 time, most recently 26 August 2026 |
| On Telegram | t.me/urekillingme |
Growth
| Measured (UTC) | Subscribers | Change |
|---|---|---|
| 26 Aug 2026, 19:53 | 3,130 | -6 |
| 23 Aug 2026, 09:34 | 3,136 | -4 |
| 20 Aug 2026, 04:43 | 3,140 | -2 |
| 16 Aug 2026, 22:28 | 3,142 | -4 |
| 13 Aug 2026, 17:37 | 3,146 | -3 |
| 10 Aug 2026, 08:12 | 3,149 | -2 |
| 7 Aug 2026, 11:05 | 3,151 | -1 |
| 6 Aug 2026, 16:04 | 3,152 | first reading |
Engagement
20 posts held, back to 15 May 2021 — the reader has not yet reached the start of this channel’s public history, so older posts may sit further back, unread. Read across 3 pagesof Telegram’s post history, 20 posts per page.
Nothing published in the last 30 days. ERR and ER are rolling 30-day measures, so there is nothing to compute — we hold 20 posts for this entry, the most recent from 3 January 2022. An engagement rate over an empty window would be a number about nothing.
Recent posts
3 Jan 2022, 07:58 UTC≈12,700 viewsread 7 August 2026
They say that when you die you become closer to God. Because you no longer fucking exist, right? @urekillingme
3 Jan 2022, 07:49 UTC≈12,800 viewsread 7 August 2026
Girl realized that she had grown hair between her legs. She got worried and asked her mom about that hair. Her mom calmly said: "That part where the hair has grown is called Monkey, be proud that your monkey has grown hair." the girl smiled. At dinner, she told her sister: "My monkey has grown hair." Her sister smiled and said: "That’s nothing, mine is already eating bananas." @urekillingme
2 Jan 2022, 20:40 UTC≈10,700 viewsread 7 August 2026
I tried phone sex once. But the holes were too small. @urekillingme
29 Dec 2021, 14:41 UTC≈9,810 viewsread 7 August 2026
**Dave is sitting at the Doctors office, the Doctor walks in Doctor: "Sir, I'm afraid you're gonna have to stop masturbating!" Dave: I don't understand Doc, why? Doctor: "Because I'm trying to Examine you!!" @urekillingme
29 Dec 2021, 14:30 UTC≈9,240 viewsread 7 August 2026
**after waiting for a while in the toilet line Me: I cannot believe they are still together after all the shit they have been through.. Girlfriend: who? Me: Your butt cheeks. @urekillingme
28 Dec 2021, 10:39 UTC≈8,790 viewsread 7 August 2026
Q: What do a pregnant 14 year old and the fetus inside of her have in common? A: They are both thinking, "oh shit my mum is going to kill me" @urekillingme
28 Dec 2021, 10:38 UTC≈8,070 viewsread 7 August 2026
Q: Why don't witches wear panties? A: Better grip on the broom. @urekillingme
19 Sept 2021, 18:26 UTC≈10,600 viewsread 7 August 2026
Q: How do you know if you have a high sperm count? A:When your girlfriend has to chew before she swallows @urekillingme
1 Jul 2021, 10:08 UTC≈12,700 viewsread 7 August 2026
A king suspected that his queen was being unfaithful, so he secretly taped a tiny razor blade to her vagina, three days later, he ordered his knights to drop their pants. they all had bandaged penises, except for one. The king said to him, "I always knew you were my most loyal knight!!!" he replied, "It wath nothng, your magethy" @urekillingme
21 May 2021, 12:26 UTC≈13,900 viewsread 7 August 2026
"Babe is it in?" "Yea." "Does it hurt?" "Uh huh." "Let me put it in slowly." "It still hurts." "Okay, let's try another shoe size." @urekillingme
21 May 2021, 12:23 UTC≈12,500 viewsread 7 August 2026
A bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?" "Okay, sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is put the prisoner in the prison." And they made love for the first time and the husband was smiling with satisfaction. Nudging him, his bride giggles, "…
Showing the 12 most recent of 20 posts we hold for @urekillingme. View and reaction counts are the latest single reading for each post, not a live figure, and a recent post is still accumulating both. A view count marked ≈ was rounded by Telegram before we ever saw it — t.me prints views in full below 1,000 and to three significant figures above, so ≈1,200,000 means somewhere between 1,150,000 and 1,249,999. Unmarked counts are exact. Text is reproduced from the public post preview and truncated for length.
Mentions
Names
Channels on the register whose handles appear in this channel's posts.
A mention is a weaker signal than a forward and is counted separately for that reason — naming a channel is not republishing it, and a handle in a post body is easy to place deliberately. The post counts beside each row below are distinct posts in which the handle appeared, from posts we have read on both sides — the “Named by N registered channels” figure above is a different count, of distinct NAMING CHANNELS rather than posts, and is not the sum of the rows under it.
Cite this entry
A live page changes as we take new readings, so a citation should name the measurement it is based on, not just the URL. The line below cites the subscriber count as measured 26 August 2026 — this entry's latest reading, not the date you are reading this.
“U r killing me” (@urekillingme), 3,130 subscribers as measured 26 August 2026. Telegram Register, tgregister.com/channel/urekillingme.
Full measurement history, CC BY 4.0. Every reading this register holds for this entry, not just the latest one, as a dated, downloadable record: CSV · JSON. Free to use with attribution to tgregister.com. Each file carries its own generation timestamp, which is the figure to cite for exactly when the data was retrieved.