Channel
@captainasshole
On this record: Growth · Engagement · Reactions · Stars · Posts · Citations · Cite this entry
1,241subscribers
-4 since we began measuring on 7 August 2026
Risers and fallers across the register · movement among entries of 1,000–3,162.
| Telegram ID | -1001699824594 |
|---|---|
| Type | Channel |
| Username | @captainasshole |
| Created | 23 January 2022 — measured — cross-checked against a third-party dataset (ext.tg_channel) |
| First recorded | 7 August 2026 |
| Last confirmed live | 16 August 2026 |
| Measurements held | 5 |
| Confirmed unchanged | 1 time, most recently 16 August 2026 |
| On Telegram | t.me/captainasshole |
| Measured (UTC) | Subscribers | Change |
|---|---|---|
| 16 Aug 2026, 21:05 | 1,241 | -3 |
| 13 Aug 2026, 11:59 | 1,244 | -4 |
| 10 Aug 2026, 17:41 | 1,248 | +3 |
| 7 Aug 2026, 19:01 | 1,245 | no change |
| 7 Aug 2026, 02:45 | 1,245 | first reading |
17 posts held, back to 10 April 2026 — the reader has not yet reached the start of this channel’s public history, so older posts may sit further back, unread. Read across 1 pageof Telegram’s post history, 20 posts per page.
ERR is average views per post over the last 30 days divided by subscribers, the definition TGStat uses, so this figure is comparable with the one you will see elsewhere. It falls structurally as a channel grows: a high ERR on a small channel and a low one on a large channel describe reach mathematics, not quality. We publish the figure and the sample it came from and pass no verdict on it.
ER is defined industry-wide as (forwards + reactions + comments) ÷ views— note the denominator is views, not subscribers. Telegram’s public web preview carries views and reactions but not forward or comment counts, so the reaction rate above is the reactions term only and is therefore a floor: the true ER for this channel is higher by an amount we have not measured and will not estimate.
| Window | Rolling 30 days · latest post in window 3 August 2026 |
|---|---|
| Posts held | 17 (10 April 2026 – 3 August 2026) |
| Views total | 3,161 |
| Reactions total | 414 |
| Forwards / comments | not exposed by the public surface — not measured, not estimated |
| Readings taken | 7 Aug 2026, 02:45 UTC |
Views are a single reading per post, taken at the time above. A post published in the last day or two is still accumulating views, which pulls the 30-day average down slightly. That is a property of the standard definition rather than a fault in it, so we keep the definition rather than “correcting” the number into something nobody can reproduce.
Precision. Telegram publishes view counts on its public widget in short form — 8.12K, 3.7M — so any reading at or above 1,000 reaches us rounded to three significant figures, and only counts below 1,000 are exact. Averages and rates derived from them are shown to the same precision rather than to the unit: a figure like 3,701,250 would assert digits nobody measured.
Reaction counts are published per emoji and rounded the same way, so a total below 1,000 is exact and a larger one is a sum that may carry a rounded component from each emoji above 1,000. Because it is a sum, it does not look rounded — read a large reaction total as three significant figures per contributing emoji rather than as the figure it prints.
2,727 reactions across 17 posts, in 3 distinct kinds. The most used accounts for 39.3% of them.
| Reaction | Count | Share | Share, drawn |
|---|---|---|---|
| custom 5443110670964896764 | 1,071 | 39.3% | |
| custom 5226556809287845326 | 964 | 35.4% | |
| custom 5357227276553433072 | 692 | 25.4% |
Custom emoji. Every row above is a Telegram custom emoji, which the public preview renders as an element carrying only a numeric id — no character, and no image we can reach. The id is printed as-is rather than substituted with a look-alike glyph, because a stand-in would be our invention showing where a measurement should be. The counts beside them areTelegram’s.
No sentiment is inferred, and none should be read in. This table is ordered by count and by nothing else. Emoji do not carry stable meaning across languages or communities — 🙏 is thanks in one channel and mourning in another — so we publish which ones were pressed and how often, and pass no judgement on what an audience meant by them.
Precision. Telegram publishes reaction counts per emoji and short-forms each one — 4.34K, 1.2M — so any single kind at or above 1,000 reaches us at three significant figures, and only counts below 1,000 are exact. The shares above are ratios of those figures and carry the same error. This is also why the total here can differ slightly from a reaction total printed elsewhere on the page: both are sums of the same rounded parts, taken over samples with different edges.
Coverage. Reactions were read on 17 of the 17 sampled posts in this sample. Summed by Telegram’s own count on each post — not by adding up the per-emoji breakdown above — those same posts carry 2,727reactions in total: the kind of figure the paragraph above means by “a reaction total printed elsewhere on the page”.
Measured over the 17 most recent posts we hold, published 10 April 2026 to 3 August 2026, using the newest reading held for each. Telegram Stars are excluded: they are a payment, not a reaction, and they have their own section.
A paid reaction is a reader spending Telegram Stars — bought with money — on a post by @captainasshole. Telegram publishes the count on the public post preview alongside ordinary reactions, and this register reads it there. It is the only figure on this site that measures money moving rather than attention.
Stars are not reactions, and the two are never added. They are rendered in the same strip on Telegram and counted in the same shape, but one is a tap and the other is a purchase. The reaction totals and the engagement rate elsewhere on this page exclude every figure in this section, and no rate here is computed against a reaction count.
This is not revenue, and we publish no currency figure. What a Star costs a reader and what it pays a channel are different numbers, Telegram takes a share we cannot observe, and the terms have changed. Converting a Star count into money would be an estimate dressed as a measurement, so the count is where we stop.
Counted over the 17 most recent posts we hold for this entry, published 10 April 2026 to 3 August 2026. Star counts above 1,000 reach us in Telegram’s short form and carry the same three-significant-figure rounding as everything else on this page.
вы знаете? сегодня — ровно год с публикации моего русреала по соукоку. незаметно прошёл целый год, вау. солидная часть меня, пожалуй, навсегда в этом тексте (хотя изначально это затевалось как рофл, а не исповедь) если вы ещё не знакомы с этой историей, то она для вас. и пусть страхи никогда не смогут вас догнать 🌟
custom 522655680928784532658custom 535722727655343307220custom 544311067096489676420
друзья, скромно напоминаю про ивент! дедлайн продлевается до 14.08, — можете успеть принять участие. ссылки на тексты присылайте в комментарии к исходному посту 😖
custom 522655680928784532656custom 54431106709648967646
после этого дня — после того, как чуя перенёс этот чёртов день, нереалистичный худший кошмар, — возможно, он больше никогда не хранил в своём доме оружие. потому что однажды, вспоминая последние слова, улыбку альбатроса, утекающее тепло его руки, чуя ощутил, как легко приставить дуло заряженного пистолета к своей голове и спустить курок.
custom 535722727655343307295custom 544311067096489676441custom 522655680928784532631
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ🤍 ;:🪶 писательский dark or light? event; от капитана. итак, дорогие писатели, у вас есть два пути на выбор: тёмный или светлый, зла или добра. иначе говоря, любую из предложенных тем можно воплотить в текст с жанром ангст или флафф. 🪶 темы ивента: «синяки на коже» «замкнутое пространство» «последний час» «тот самый день» «нарушенное обещание» «первый поцелуй» разве это всё? текст может обладать множество…
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«у меня есть секрет, чуя: я знаю тебя полностью. я наблюдаю, запоминаю, пробую, обжигаюсь, — так проходят годы, совместно и врозь. ты даже не представляешь. я знаю тебя слишком хорошо, почти идеально: напряжение в твоих мышцах и взгляде, когда я окажусь максимально близко, глядя сверху. знаю, если стану шептать тебе в губы, касаясь их своими, но не целуя, у тебя собьётся дыхание, и ты неосознанно потянешься навстреч…
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— и о чём ты мечтаешь? в тоне дазая привычно сквозит игривая насмешка. будто: «ещё помнишь, как это делается?» или «давай, развесели меня». его улыбку впору высекать хирургическим скальпелем. тревожно-режуще в животе, трудно дышать, щекотно векам. полное ощущение, что крепко скованы руки и ласково завязаны глаза. подбородок сам вздёргивается вверх. раньше чуе мечталось, — до тех пор, пока наивная надежда не сгнил…
custom 522655680928784532686custom 544311067096489676435custom 535722727655343307229
и, то есть, хотите сказать, что дазай принёс чую в бессознательном состоянии прямо на порог к дому, где чудовищно убиты люди, что были чуе семьёй? и ушёл. ПОГОДИ-КА.
custom 5357227276553433072118custom 544311067096489676430custom 522655680928784532622
«пора домой. они ждут меня. нужно предупредить их, нужно идти». чуя думает только о «флагах», он рвётся спасти их, уже зная. он знает, но надеется, что это — просто сон. и распахивает дверь. ранен? убит.
custom 5357227276553433072104custom 544311067096489676440custom 522655680928784532624
в подростковом возрасте у дазая в распоряжении была тысяча способов вывести чую из равновесия — намеренно или по неосторожности, — и одним из них была задротская зависимость. дазай постоянно носился со своей потёртой консолью, по кругу перепроходил одни и те же уровни, — из динамиков звучали битые пиксели, дазай колотил экран, у чуи сжимались зубы. «не умеешь мириться с поражением?» промазать кнопки суперклеем, чт…
custom 5443110670964896764119custom 522655680928784532644custom 535722727655343307222
исполнитель мафии — хладнокровный, с чужой кровью на рукавах пальто, — который возвращается домой, не зажигает свет, укутывается в плед и до раннего утра смотрит французские комедии; за час опустошает три кружки обжигающего сладкого чая, пытаясь согреть руки. бывший исполнитель мафии, в шутку балансирующий на краю, который носит в карманах пачки кислого мармелада и хранит в сердце любовь к своему напарнику, — и нена…
custom 5443110670964896764107custom 535722727655343307237custom 522655680928784532630
«даже умереть достойно не можешь?», — дазай произнёс, улыбаясь. чуя не сможет, как и ты, ведь вы всегда будете спасать друг друга. шторм — это чёртово испытание.
custom 5443110670964896764140custom 522655680928784532640custom 535722727655343307236
едва-едва совершеннолетние соукоку, которые решают потренироваться друг на друге не только в язвительных шутках, пакостных розыгрышах, обидных прозвищах, а ещё и... в поцелуях. закономерное «не обольщайся, мне больше не с кем» и десятки шитых белыми нитками отговорок, пока горят щёки, а сердце стучит в затылке. отчасти, воспринимая эту задачу привычным состязанием или спором, дазай целую минуту морщится; жалуется, …
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Showing the 12 most recent of 17 posts we hold for @captainasshole. View and reaction counts are the latest single reading for each post, not a live figure, and a recent post is still accumulating both. A view count marked ≈ was rounded by Telegram before we ever saw it — t.me prints views in full below 1,000 and to three significant figures above, so ≈1,200,000 means somewhere between 1,150,000 and 1,249,999. Unmarked counts are exact. Text is reproduced from the public post preview and truncated for length.
Stars beside a post are paid reactions — Telegram Stars, bought with money and spent on that post. They are a different unit from reactions and are never added to them, here or anywhere else on this page.
Citation-graph rank — 359,098 of 1,481,243entries in the measured graph. A weighted position computed from the forward and mention edges below — republished posts weigh more than named mentions — and recomputed periodically, over the whole graph. Published only as this ordinal position, never as a score: a position is a fact, and a score printed beside one channel’s name would read as a verdict this register does not make. The two counts beneath stay separate for the same reason mentions are never summed with forwards anywhere else on this page — a named-by count costs nothing to manufacture. The top 100 by this measure, or how it is computed.
Republished by
Channels on the register that have forwarded this channel's posts into their own feed.
Built only from forwarded posts we have actually read, on both sides. Coverage is early and deliberately incomplete: a missing link means we have not read the post that would prove it, never that the relationship does not exist. Counts are distinct forwarded posts observed, so they only ever go up as we read more.
Named by 1 registered channel — every channel on the register whose own posts have named this one, by its current username or any other username it currently holds, merged from two separately captured readings of the same fact so a namer caught by only one of them is not missed and a namer both caught is not counted twice. A username this channel has since dropped is not matched — that handle may belong to someone else now, and crediting today’s namer to yesterday’s owner would misattribute it.
Named by
Channels on the register whose posts name this channel's handle.
A mention is a weaker signal than a forward and is counted separately for that reason — naming a channel is not republishing it, and a handle in a post body is easy to place deliberately. The post counts beside each row below are distinct posts in which the handle appeared, from posts we have read on both sides — the “Named by N registered channels” figure above is a different count, of distinct NAMING CHANNELS rather than posts, and is not the sum of the rows under it.
A live page changes as we take new readings, so a citation should name the measurement it is based on, not just the URL. The line below cites the subscriber count as measured 16 August 2026 — this entry's latest reading, not the date you are reading this.
“asshole.” (@captainasshole), 1,241 subscribers as measured 16 August 2026. Telegram Register, tgregister.com/channel/captainasshole.
Full measurement history, CC BY 4.0. Every reading this register holds for this entry, not just the latest one, as a dated, downloadable record: CSV · JSON. Free to use with attribution to tgregister.com. Each file carries its own generation timestamp, which is the figure to cite for exactly when the data was retrieved.